I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
