This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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