We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
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