He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
