She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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