my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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