I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
