am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
