you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize