Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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