whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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