she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
