She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
