just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I will pee on everything he values.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
