Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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