he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
