I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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