when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
