before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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