i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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