I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
