thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
