FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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