..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
