Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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