I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
