at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
