I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize