remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
