i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
