Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
