I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize