i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
