how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
