Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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