return my video game
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize