You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
