I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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