I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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