I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
