WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We were destined to go to rehab together
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
