PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
