Define "chronic" masturbator.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
