i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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