3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
North Korea, Best Korea!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
