well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
