I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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