good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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