i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize