Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
