I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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