So drunk its hurt
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
