His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
