i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
