Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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