i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
