Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
