OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
