Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
