He is an equal opportunity slut.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
