am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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