True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
