It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
